The following is a hypothetical account revealed to us by the prophet Buterda. His tale shook the living shitar out of us. In the prophet's dream, he took on the spirit of Ryan Baker (a.k.a. the Space Monsta) and this account is in his personna. Here is the only surviving account of the prophet's account. He later debunked to the NBA and lost his fist.
Beefcake Messiah's debut CD is released. I again will take all the credit
and the single "falling in love" will propel BM to international fame and fortune.
While touring Europe, I will discover secret documents on a mind control process
known as the stupifier cluster frequency waves developed by Nazi Germany at the
end of WWII. The documents explain that by combining certain high frequency wave
forms a single wave form can be produced that puts the human mind into a deep
hypnotic state. In conjunction with subliminal messages the stupifier cluster
frequency waves can program the human mind to do virtually anything.
I show my "discovery" to my bandmates while in the studio working on the second
album, and they fall under my complete and absolute control.
Our video for "Czar boogie" debuts number one on MTV across the globe and soon
the entire youth population of the globe falls under my complete control.
The revolution begins. Spacecow reaches Multi-platinum status selling well over
3 million copies. All the radio stations and TV networks soon fall under my
complete control. Then the armed forces, then most of the white house staff.
Those which haven't are converted or are executed on the spot. My reign of terror
that will last until 286R.B. begins.
I become the beefcake messiah. Gorgeous Women from around the globe are made my
love slaves.
My palace on Easter Island is built and the rest of the now
defunct beefcake messiah band are made my slaves around the house. Greg Fowler
becomes my butler, Travis and Eric my cooks, Aaron, Kimo and Ryan Quigley are
made into my topless maid service (after I give them all sex change operations)
and Pat becomes the big guy who fans me with the palm branch at all times.
Human cloning is perfected.
I will live forever!
1997
Pork and Beans releases it's debut album. I will take all the credit and
laugh all the way to the bank. 1998
Beefcake messiah's second single "margaret" is also a hit and the
video remains in heavy rotation on MTV across the globe. 1999
Spacecow: tales of the bovine is released. Contained on many of the tracks
are the stupifier cluster frequency waves. 2000A.D./1R.B.
I change the calender year from A.D. to R.B. because it sounds better.